I am shaking that thing off. The one that I still can't figure out. That thing that made me feel so awful for so long. It's fleeting.
It's funny the things that make me feel so much more alive.
Like walking down dirty streets until my back aches,
deconstructing my mind,
getting lost, talking with strangers at midnight and
running down the Blvd. at 1 o'clock in the morning because I am young and strong and I can.
I've been telling my stories and having someone listen and smile.
And mean it.
A few days ago an old man smiled at me through his bay window, waved and blew me kisses. These are the people I have been looking for. The ones that listen and smile and blow kisses.
People can be good and I am remembering that now.
It's easily forgotten in this city but it's coming back to me and I am overwhelmed with excitement for this place.
There's something in the way the 101 freeway curves into downtown, and the light hits the buildings' glass, and the palm trees dot the skyline, and the sun sets everything on fire with that perfect light. My heart is here. My heart was meant to be here watching the sun set over Sunset from my front porch.